Posted in Finding Comfort, Living in Today's World, The Joy of His Love, Time for Sharing

The Many Names For A Father

Sitting here trying to decide on a title for the post–it came to me that I’ve heard so many terms used for “a father” some I won’t repeat here, but here’s my list and my experience (just a peek into my life) with each one.

In no particular order:  Dad…Daddy…Papa…PopsOld Man…Biological Father…Sperm donor…Pa… Father  and I am sure there are more!

I’m going to start with biological father/sperm donor.  This term is sometimes used by someone whose relationship with their father was minimal,  totally non-existent  or he/she never even met the man.  To me, this is the saddest of all.  I had one these fathers.  My parents married for 5-6 years bringing me and three younger brothers into this world.  Divorce was unheard of in the ‘baby boomer’ days, especially in a strict Roman Catholic home.  But, my mother divorced him and excommunicated from the church.  She dated numerous men over the next 3 1/2 to 4 years.  Several of them mistreated me (sexually)…my mother was not aware of this because she was drinking a lot.  By the age of 9 I was ‘mothering ‘ my three younger brothers .  During those years I did not see nor hear from my bio dad not once!  Neither did he pay child support (not sure about this, something mom told me)

When I was 9 1/2 my aunt introduced my mother to a widower from the Midwest who was intelligent, respected in the community, a  successful business man and very well off financially.  His wife was killed in a car accident and he was raising 2 daughters by himself.  It wasn’t too long after they met that he proposed, it didn’t seem to bother him that mom had 4 children; because he adored her.    He bought mom a new car and put a ring on her finger big enough to buy another car.  In the winter of my 5th grade year we moved cross-country.  They soon married and became a family of 8.  He was raised in the Protestant faith.  Now we attended a Presbyterian church.  That meant no Catholic school, which I was familiar with, so it was extremely difficult to acclimate.  I was an outsider.  But, this is when I first learned what a “dad” was.  He took me fishing, just him and me.  He was a strict “dad” figure, something my brothers and myself both needed.   For 4 1/2 years he lavished my mom with gifts while being the sole provider for all 8 of us.  One day he suggested my mother find work because as we grew, so did the cost to care for 8 of us.  She agreed and found a part-time job working as a receptionist/secretary for a booming luxury boat manufacturer.   All was well, I was happy!  Then wham!!  The day of the County Fair, about 3 days before my 16th birthday, my mother (out of the blue) tells me  “I am divorcing ___ “.  Shocked I   started to cry.  She said it was because of the way he treated my brothers.  “We are moving in a few weeks before school starts back up.”  I still to this day can’t explain what that feeling was like for me.  As soon as I could, I got a hold of my best friend and told her.  She said she thought something was wrong because she saw my mother and her boss holding hands in a diner/restaurant in the city a few weeks earlier.  I went off the deep end!   From hurt–to anger. (never heard from my bio dad since we left the west coast)

We moved into a house in the community where my high school was.  I went from a straight A student, involved in everything to a “drunk”.  Yup–16 yr old drunk every day by 10 am.  Missed almost the entire 1st quarter of my junior year and my mom had no clue.  You see she left for work at 7 am, I got my brothers up for school, fed them and made sure I was home by the time they got home from school.  I made them dinner, tried to get them to do their homework and even baked cookies for them.  Why?  Because when mom got off work at 4 pm–she immediately went to her bosses luxurious home until the wee hours of the morning.  It was my junior year, I was class president and a drunk!  My poor brothers became the town “bad boys”…not having any guidance at all.  Something had to change, but I missed my “dad” so much.  Thanks to a very caring music teacher and my dear friends I realized I couldn’t keep drinking–it was ruining my life.  By the 3rd quarter of that year, I put everything I had into music!.  A few friends started a rock band and asked me to be the female lead–I said yes!  That’s where I met my first love.  

We moved again to another community into a house belonging to my mom’s boss.  I didn’t want to change schools my last year of high school, so I rode to school each morning with my mom when she went to work.  My poor brothers were so out of control, but I could do nothing.  One week after I graduated high school, I married my first love–the male lead in our small rock band.  I was only 17, so my mom had to sign for me.  I needed out of that house.  Soon after that, she and her boss married.  He became affectionately known to us kids as “Pa”!  

On our nine month wedding anniversary our first daughter was born.  That ended the big dreams of the two of us going to California and making it big (lol in retrospect).  I had no idea how to be a mom–he had no idea how to be a dad.  We floundered.  Right before her first birthday he decided to enlist in the military.  During this time, my brothers all had their moments of total confusion, drinking, trouble making, etc.  When my husband left for the military, I moved into the house I’d lived in my senior year.  The oldest of my three younger brothers was kicked out of the house for drinking, so he moved in with me and my daughter.   The relationship between me and my husband went down hill fast–he wasn’t sent overseas to Vietnam; but he wasn’t home.  Soon after my daughter’s 2nd birthday I heard from my brother-in-law that my husband was seeing a woman on the West Coast where he was stationed and she was pregnant.  I filed for a divorce (back then you had to have a legit reason–mine was adultery) and started singing in the band again.  That did not work well.  My mom and Pa forced me to quit singing; threatening to take my “baby” from me if I didn’t get a real job.  So…

I moved into a small trailer home and got a real job.  There was a guy I worked with who came from a well-respected Christian family with a large family.  He would be the perfect guy to be a “dad” to my daughter (since her bio dad was like mine), or so I thought.  Well, we married when I was 21–he was 18. 

That’s when I met my “Father” (and my daddy)

My Father is the point of this entire post.  Everything I felt a father should be, I found in Him through his saving grace and my receiving Jesus Christ as my Savior. 

He would never leave me, never hurt me and he honestly “LOVED ME”!!  He would correct me when I needed it, guide me when I asked for direction.  That was a wow for me.  I never knew love before! 

Today, after this little jaunt down memory lane, I can say with all confidence that if anyone reading this does not know what a Father is–pick up a Bible and just start reading the Gospel of John.  I will forever thank Him for everything in my past, because as His Word promises ” old things are passed away(dead) all things are becoming new”.  

May I be a delight and pleasing to my Heavenly Father this day and always!  Now I know what a daddy is!  Praise Him for sending us His only Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins, so we could be reconciled to the Father through Him!  

Romans 8:10-20 “ And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.  But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.  Therefore, brethren, we are debtors–not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.  For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.  For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,  and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.  For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope”

Posted in Finding Comfort, Living in Today's World, Seeking Truth?, The Joy of His Love, The Power of Prayer, Time for Sharing

Post Script of Praise!


Mom and Pa truly loved one another deeply!   Pa was a good man, a fine example of  a successful, self-made business man and company owner.  Soon  after they married in 1969, Pa was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Being in the boating industry, he had been exposed to many toxic elements plus he was a smoker.  In those days, the medical community had just begun to research cancer’s causes, effects and treatments.  Financially Pa was able to receive treatment at Mayo Clinic.  The treatment: complete removal of his left lung.  Surgeries like that, in early 70’s were harsh to say the least.  He had his breastbone sawed in half to reach the lung and remove it.  Painful–YES!!  His recovery was lengthy, but my mom stuck by his side. 

Soon after I remarried and the God of All Glory offered me the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, I joyfully accepted Jesus Christ.  Everything changed in my life.  Life was no longer about me, it was about Him!  I wanted to share the Gospel message with everyone–I was fearless in telling others.  Children, youth and adults.  My husband and I extended an invitation one Sunday for mom and Pa to visit our church.  That was a day to definitely be remembered!  They sat in the back row in our small country, right behind us.  I don’t remember the sermon that day, but after the message Pastor spoke out to anyone in the church, “If there is anyone here who is searching and would like to know more about Jesus Christ, just raise your hand while we all bow our heads in prayer.”  The church was silent and the pastor began to pray softly.  Behind me I could hear someone sobbing.  I knew I shouldn’t open my eyes, after all this was for God to see not me.   After the prayer I turned around to ask mom and Pa if they enjoyed the service.  Pa, this extremely self-made  successful business owner was sobbing uncontrollably.  Pastor came down from the pulpit and headed straight for Pa.  He led Pa into the other room where the two of them knelt together before God and Pa repented and received the gift of salvation. 

Pa lived for less than 10 years after that, trying every possible treatment for the rapidly spreading cancer.  He kept his relationship and walk with the Lord.  I was with him when he passed.  But I knew where he went…his soul went right into the Lord’s presence. 

The next 20+ years my mom never remarried, nor really dated.  Pa was the “love of her life”. 

In 2005 mom was diagnosed with lung cancer for the third time.  The two previous lung cancers were a treatable type, but the one in 2005 was not.  They did a biopsy and found it was small cell lung cancer usually found in women, people who have never smoked or have quit smoking.  They said she had less than 6 months to live.  She wanted to stay in her little motor home…no hospitals, so I stayed with her.  Thanks to my brothers I was able to spend those last few months with her.  We talked a lot about God, Jesus, heaven, salvation and death.  She was not fearful of death–she even dreamed Pa was waiting for her.  The Hospice chaplain was a wonderful Mennonite woman who loved the Lord dearly.  During several of her visits with mom, they asked me to go outside and just take a break. 

My mother, knowing Jesus Christ as her Savior, went home to be with Jesus in July.  On the exact day that Pa passed 25 years earlier, within 12 hours to the minute.



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Posted in Everyday News, Random, Time for Sharing

History of Father’s Day~FYI

Origins of Father’s Day

The campaign to celebrate the nation’s fathers did not meet with the same enthusiasm as Mother’s Day–perhaps because, as one florist explained, “fathers haven’t the same sentimental appeal that mothers have.”

On July 5, 1908, a West Virginia church sponsored the nation’s first event explicitly in honor of fathers, a Sunday sermon in memory of the 362 men who had died in the previous December’s explosions at the Fairmont Coal Company mines in Monongah, but it was a one-time commemoration and not an annual holiday.

The next year, a Spokane, Washington woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, one of six children raised by a widower, tried to establish an official equivalent to Mother’s Day for male parents. She went to local churches, the YMCA, shopkeepers and government officials to drum up support for her idea, and she was successful: Washington State celebrated the nation’s first statewide Father’s Day on July 19, 1910.
Slowly, the holiday spread. In 1916, President Wilson honored the day by using telegraph signals to unfurl a flag in Spokane when he pressed a button in Washington, D.C.  In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge urged state governments to observe Father’s Day. However, many men continued to disdain the day. As one historian writes, they “scoffed at the holiday’s sentimental attempts to domesticate manliness with flowers and gift-giving, or they derided the proliferation of such holidays as a commercial gimmick to sell more products–often paid for by the father himself.

Father’s Day: Controversy and Commercialism

During the 1920s and 1930s, a movement arose to scrap Mother’s Day and Father’s Day altogether in favor of a single holiday, Parents’ Day. Every year on Mother’s Day, pro-Parents’ Day groups rallied in New York City’s Central Park–a public reminder, said Parents’ Day activist and radio performer Robert Spere, “that both parents should be loved and respected together.” Paradoxically, however, the Depression derailed this effort to combine and de-commercialize the holidays. Struggling retailers and advertisers redoubled their efforts to make Father’s Day a “second Christmas” for men, promoting goods such as neckties, hats, socks, pipes and tobacco, golf clubs and other sporting goods, and greeting cards.

When World War II began, advertisers began to argue that celebrating Father’s Day was a way to honor American troops and support the war effort.  By the end of the war, Father’s Day may not have been a federal holiday, but it was a national institution.

In 1972, in the middle of a hard-fought presidential re-election campaign, Richard Nixon signed an official  proclamation making Father’s Day a federal holiday at last. 

**Information from edited**